Computer illiterate!

These are funny quotes from calls made to a PC support line in a call centre by some Computer illiterate customers, it did make me laugh and I hope it will do the same to you, :o)

• Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
  Female customer: A white one...
  



• Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
  Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
  Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
  Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
  Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
  



• Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
  Customer: Your left or my left?
  



• Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
  Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
  Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
  Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
  



• Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
  



• Customer: I have problems printing in red...
  Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
  Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
  



• Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
  Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
  



• Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
  Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
  Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
  Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
  Customer:! OK
  Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
  Customer: Yes
  Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
  Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
  



• Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
  Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
  



• Customer: can't get on the Internet.
  Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
  Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
  Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
  Customer: Five stars.
  



• Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
  Customer: Netscape.
  Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
  Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
  



• Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
  



• Tech support: How may I help you?
  Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
  Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
  Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
  



• A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
  Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
  Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
  



• And last but not least...
  
  Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
  Customer: I don't have a P.
  Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
  Customer: What do you mean?
  Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
  Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
  
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